Ownership: An Acceptance Technique for Emotional Regulation to Make Peace with Your Feelings
Respect • Ownership • Connection • Kindness
By Lee Havenga | April 10, 2025
Techniques for emotional regulation help us navigate life with greater clarity and resilience. Part two of our three-part ROCK thru series focuses on the second A of Ownership—Acceptance. Now that you’ve identified your emotions (see last week’s article), the next step is learning to accept them without judgment. Acceptance empowers you to take meaningful action rather than resisting or suppressing your feelings. When you accept emotions as they are—nothing more, nothing less—they lose their power to control your actions, allowing for greater clarity and choice.
APPLY IT IN 5 MINUTES
Once you've become aware of an emotion, use this technique to practice acceptance.
1. Make Room for the Emotion
- Pause and notice where the emotion is in your body.
- Instead of resisting, gently acknowledge its presence.
- You don’t have to like or approve of it—just allow it to exist.
2. Observe Without Judgment
- Avoid analyzing the emotion or trying to change it.
- If your mind starts commenting (“This is bad” or “I shouldn’t feel this way”), simply respond with “Thanks, mind!” and return to observing.
3. Let Go of Struggle
- Notice any urge to push the feeling away or suppress it.
- Instead of resisting, imagine making space for it, like opening a door and allowing it to be there.
4. Breathe into It
- Take slow, deep breaths, softening any tension around the emotion.
- Remind yourself: “It’s okay to feel this. It’s already here.”
5. Stay With It
- Allow the sensation to remain for a few moments without trying to force it to change.
- If it shifts, let it. If it stays, that’s okay too.
DEEPEN THE IMPACT
Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering to your emotions—it means allowing them to be there without controlling you. If you’re struggling with accepting negative emotions without judgment, here are three statements that may help you.
- “I don’t have to like this feeling, but I can let it be.”
- “I don’t need to waste energy fighting something that’s already here.”
- “I can acknowledge and make space for all emotions.”
MORE RESOURCES
The techniques above are based on Steven Hayes’ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In his TED Talk, Hayes shares how acceptance can transform our experiences with difficult emotions.
Sources:
Harris, Russell. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Introductory Workshop Handout, 2007.
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