Respect for Others: Authentic Living Exercises to Embrace Others and Empower Yourself
Respect • Ownership • Connection • Kindness
By Lee Havenga | June 19, 2025
Authentic living exercises help you overcome what holds you back—including letting go of judgment toward others so you can live more freely yourself. This week’s ROCK thru principle, Respect for Others, invites us to embrace all people—even when they live, choose, or believe differently than we do. When you honor someone else’s autonomy, you’re also sending yourself the message: “It’s safe for me to live my truth, too.”
APPLY IT IN 2 MINUTES
Technique: Offer Unconditional Positive Regard
This practice, based on the work of psychologist Carl Rogers, trains your mind to see others as inherently worthy, regardless of their choices, lifestyle, or beliefs. Over time, it helps you release control and reinforce the belief that you, too, can live freely and authentically.
1. Prepare Your Mindset
Think of a person whose lifestyle, beliefs, or choices challenge you. Before your next interaction, reflect on as many of their specific traits or decisions that you typically judge or have a negative reaction to. After each one, mentally affirm: “I accept this person regardless of what they do or believe.”
This could be a colleague with different political views, a family member who parents differently, or even a stranger expressing a perspective you disagree with.
2. Silently Affirm
When you are with them, mentally repeat: “I accept you regardless of what you do or believe.” Say it silently and sincerely, without trying to fix or agree with them.
3. Stay Present, Don’t Persuade
Instead of correcting, defending, or disengaging, stay present and curiosity. Give them autonomy. Let their truth be theirs—and let yours remain yours. If a moment calls for a response, you can stay authentic without agreeing—try something neutral but respectful:
- “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
- “Thanks for sharing your perspective.”
- [Silence with eye contact and a nod to indicate you are engaged]
4. Repeat and Expand
Each time you see this person, repeat the practice. Over time, notice how it shifts your relationship—and how it helps you give yourself the same autonomy you give them. When you feel ready, expand this mindset to others.
DEEPEN THE IMPACT
This shift may catch people off guard—especially if you usually challenge or debate them. They might ask:
- “You’re awfully quiet today—what’s up?”
- “Since when do you agree with that?”
- “You’re not going to argue with me?”
Have a few calm, grounded responses ready, like:
- “I’m practicing being more present and less reactive—just listening for now.”
- “I’m learning to respect where people are, even when I don’t agree.”
- “I want to understand where you’re coming from—even if we see things differently.”
These responses allow you to reinforce your own mindset while making space for others to feel seen.
MORE RESOURCES
- Video: “Unlikely Friends” shows how unconditional positive regard transforms judgment into connection, unlocking healing, freedom, and authentic living.
- Book: Carl Rogers’ On Becoming a Person – foundational work on unconditional positive regard in relationships.
- Article: Unconditional positive regard helps people feel seen, safe, and accepted—creating space for real growth and connection.
Deci, Edward L., and Richard M. Ryan. “Self-determination theory in health care and its relations to motivational interviewing: a few comments.” International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, vol. 9, no. 24, 2012, doi:10.1186/1479-5868-9-24.
Ryan, Richard M., and Edward L. Deci. “Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being.” American Psychologist, vol. 55, no. 1, 2000, pp. 68–78. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68.
Get more like this, right to your inbox
Want to inspire a friend?
Forward this on so they can
ROCK thru too!
