Respect for Self: Define Your Personal Values and Live Authentically
Respect • Ownership • Connection • Kindness
By Lee Havenga | March 13, 2025
Knowing how to define personal values is essential in a world that constantly tells you who you should be. Advertisers, influencers, and even well-meaning friends and family can shape your self-perception. However, genuine self-Respect, a ROCK thru principle, comes from understanding your core values—those fundamental beliefs that guide your decisions, shape your identity, and create a meaningful life.
APPLY IT IN 10 MINUTES
Define Your Personal Values in Three Simple Steps
1. Download and Review a Values List
Start by reviewing a comprehensive list of values (like this one with 180+ single-word values). Scan through and highlight 10–15 that resonate with you. You might also come up with unique values that aren’t on the list.
2. Narrow It Down with Thoughtful Reflection
Reduce your list to 3–5 core values by asking yourself a few questions:
• Would I be someone different without this value?
• Does this value set me apart from others?
• Is this truly who I am, or does it reflect who I think I should be?
• Would I exchange this belief for a million dollars?
3. Solidify Your Values with Real-World Examples
For each value, describe an example of how it has shaped a past decision or influenced your life. If you struggle to find an example, reconsider whether it truly belongs on your list
DEEPEN THE IMPACT
Now that you’ve learned how to define personal values make them a visible part of your daily life. Write them on a notecard or set them as your phone background to keep them front and center. When faced with tough choices, refer to your values to guide your decisions.
MORE RESOURCES
Now that you know your values, explore how to apply them in everyday situations. Read this article on using the FAST acronym to cultivate self-Respect—where the S stands for ‘Stick to Your Values’—to learn how to make values-based choices with confidence.
Sources:
Lee, Chris. “Why Personal Values Matter More Than Ever.” Psychology Today, 12 June 2021, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-you/202106/why-personal-values-matter-more-ever.
Schwartz, Shalom H. “An Overview of the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values.” Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2012, https://doi.org/10.9707/2307-0919.1116.
Ackerman, Courtney E. “What Are Core Values? 70+ Examples to Help You Find Yours.” Positive Psychology, 14 Apr. 2020, https://positivepsychology.com/core-values/.
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